What Girls Get In The Mail
by CC-RandomDragon
Summary: Soul and BlackStar are trapped in an independent cube!  What will they do to pass the time...
1. Chapter 1

This started out as a oneshot…it evolved…

WARNING: CONTAINS YAOI/GAYNESS. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. DON'T KNOW WTF IT MEANS, YOU'RE A SHELTERED LAME ASS….thankyou

Chapter 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tsubaki blushed. "Ah, sorry guys." She ran out of the room. The demon weapon had walked in on Soul and BlackStar, making out on the couch! "Next time" said BlackStar, nuzzling Soul's chest,"lets meet up at your place, ok?" BlackStar had been soul's bf ever since there last mission. Flashback!

"This should keep you brats out of my way! Wolf, wolfs, wolf, wolfs…"Chanted free. Where the fuck is Maka?Yelled Soul." He's preparing another attack!""HELL YEA!" Screamed BlackStar, running into free, momentarily stopping his chant. Tsubaki changed into the enchanted sword mode as BlackStar charged again."SHIT!"Exclaimed free, using the cool move where a giant ice ball appears on his shackles. BlackStar jumped in the air, slicing it in half. Soul got out his cell phone and called Maka. "Where the fucking hell are you?" he yelled into the phone, dodging a block of ice."Sorry soul, but I can't make it today."She hung up. "Cant make it today? Can't make today? Who the hell is she fucking kidding here?" He screamed to the heavens.

Soul looked back to the battle, where Free had frozen Tsubaki, leaving BlackStar to fight on his own."NO ONE CAN DEFET A BIG A STAR AS MEEEEE!"Yelled BlackStar, jumping into the air. Soul ran at Free, trying to decapitate him. Free blocked the blade with his tail. Then he grabbed the back of souls sweater, throwing him into a snow bank. Distracted by his friend's flight, BlackStar took a punch to the chest, landing next to soul.

"Wolf, wolfs, wolf, wolfs." Free began chanting again. "Spatial Magic: Independent Cube! Key Crate!"Soul and BlackStar were trapped inside Frees magic box thingy!

Then Eruka came out of nowhere and says "You know, it's so cold here, you could've just frozen them in ice. It would've lasted longer and taken less energy." And thus, Free did one of his many GODDAMET SHIIIT! Rants on the nearest lamppost.

End Chapter 1

Thnkz 4 Reading! Plz Review


	2. Chapter 2

D8thDaKYD - Death the Kid

PattyPatty - Patty (duh!)

LizaLot - Liz

ILUVPuca - Maka

SUPAHERO - Hiro

Chapter 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:30 pm

D8thDaKYD - LoggedOn

PattyPatty - LoggedOn

LizaLot - LoggedOn

ILUVPuca - LoggedOn

PattyPatty - Heloooooo PPLEs!XP

ILUVPuca - and I'm guessing that's patty…

LizaLot - 100 points 2 Maka*ding ding* you can probly guess who I am.

D8thDaKYD - Hello Maka, I see you have gotten an account. How nice.

ILUVPuca - Why so formels? I LUV ur user names all!

D8thDaKYD - Friended ILUVPuca

ILUVPuca - Friended PattyPatty

LizaLot - Friended ILUVPuca

8:35pm

LizaLot - Heys maka, don't u have a mizzion 2night?

PattyPatty - YEA! & she didn't Go !

lizaLot- it wazent tht funy…

ILUVPuca – i diceded not to go.

D8thDaKYD - Y?

ILUVPuca - Dnt rly feels like it tday…

LizaLot - That time again? :[

PattyPatty - Whaaaaa?

D8thDaKYD - I bileves that liz iz reffering 2 the emotional 3 dayz be4 the menstral cycle.

PattyPatty - I knew that…..

LizaLot - Sure u did. ; )

ILUVPuca - Dez pty evan get those?

D8thDaKYD - Plz take ur grrl talk somewhere MORE PRIVAATE!Ands yes, patty does have them. = (

LizaLot - =(

ILUVPuca - Wowz, im so sorry 4 u

PattyPatty - again, Whaaaaaaaa?

8:45pm

SUPAHERO - LoggedOn

SUPAHERO - Hello all, mind if I join u?

D8thDaKYD - Hiro, iz tht u?

SUPAHERO - sure iz BABY ; D

D8thDaKYD -*blush*

PattyPatty - WOW! Ur really funny kid!

ILUVPuca - KYD, u shouldn't b talking 2 him! X [

D8thDaKYD - Go 2 Hells!

8:50pm

ILUVPuca - LoggedOff

PattyPatty - ! She loged of! Whered she go?aWWWWW! Hey gyes, guezz wht?

SUPAHERO - What?

PattyPatty - I have no idea, sis?Do u no?

8:51pm

LizaLot - LoggedOff

PattyPatty - LoggedOff

SUPAHERO - Whered da grrlz go 2?

D8thDaKYD - I told thems 2 gives uz alone time *winkz*

SUPAHERO- I LUVz U!

D8thDaKYD-I LUVz U more!

#1SHINAGAMI - KYD iz that u?

SUPAHERO - LoggedOff

D8thDaKYD – Father, u also have an account. How nice.

#1SHINIGAMI – I TOLD YOU NEVER TO TALK TO HIRO! THAT ALOS MENT ONLING CHAT!

8:54 pm

D8thDaKYD – I don't freaking care father, he is my boyfriend after all. Why wouldn't I talk to him?

#1SHINIGAMI – REAPERS CAN'T BE GAY! HOW WILL YOU GET a HIER?

D8thDaKYD – I won't. I HATE babies, they don't give a shit about symmetry.

#1SHINIGAMI – WTF?

D8thDaKYD – LoggedOff

EXCALIBER – FOOLS!

I YOU READ THIS PLZ REVIW! 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TRAP THE ALMIGHTY BLAAACKSTAAAR?"

"GoddamitShiiiiit!"

" I CAN ESCAPE THIS EAISLY!YAHOOOO!"

"Shiiiiiit!"

"-AND WHEN I DO YOU WILL WISH YOU WERE NEEVEER BORN!"

"Godaamiit-"

"Shut Up!"

"Shut Up!" Yelled Soul and Eruka.

" Listen Free," Eruka said kindly " banging your head like that will ruin whatever brains you might still have up there. Come on, let's go freeze someone else."She led him away.

"Listen BlackStar, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS WONT GET US OUT OF HERE! THERE IS NO WAY OUT OF HERE! SO SHUT UP ALREADY!" Soul took a second to catch his breath. "Let's just wait, QUIETLY, until the spell fades away." They sat down. "Sooluuu..I'm Sooo BORD!" Soul looked at him"Seriously BlackStar? We have been here less then 5 minutes and your already board!" He looked through his backpack, pulling out random objects. "Do you want to make prank calls?" He said, pulling out his phone. "Been there, done that." "For some strange reason I have a pineapple in here, you hungry?" BlackStar belched."I ate on the way over." "Ok, eww," Soul pulled out a pizza, condoms, a board game, a dido, a few ewoks and the all spark. He shrugged:" Therese nothing good in here!" After looking in the bag a few more minutes he found it. The mail. "Um, BlackStar, this is totally uncool but, I have Maka's mail. Do you want to go through it? Just for fun?" Black Star grabbed it from him."Sure, but there cant be anything THAT interesting in here. I mean, she is a girl, girls are BORING!""Girls have tits." Soul stated. "Yah... your right."

"THIS IS AAAWSOOOMEE!" Free yelled, freezing random people as he walked down the road. "It's so much more fun when they don't fight back!"Eruka smiled, patting her tadpole."FOOLS!" Yelled Excalibur, jumping from Tadpole Jackson's mouth."WTF?"

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" BlackStar screamed, grabbing at his eyes. Then immediately passing out. Soul's head exploded in an EPIC NOSEBLEED. While going through Maka's Mail, they had found a yaoi porn magazine. They were dumb enough to open it. It was currently open to a bondage page, anal beads and all. Soul crawled towards it, covering his eyes, and flipped the page. It was underage incest. Souls head exploded again, BlackStar resumed being dead. A shaking hand reached out and flipped the page. "What's on the next page, soul?" BlackStar asked. "I'm not looking first, you tell me what's on it." BlackStar gulped." Lets look at the same time, ok?"Sure.""YAHOO! Alright, on 3. 1, 2, 3! BlackStar opened his eyes, dying at the sight of gay furries. Soul decided not to look: he had already lost too much blood."What was on the page? BlackStar? Um, BlackStar?"He peeked out from between his fingers, gasping at the sight of his fallen comrade. He then carefully threw his jacket over the magazine, so it was safe for his eyes. "BlackStar, you ok buddy?" He nudged his lifeless form with his foot."Ng" "YO BlackStar! Wake up already! What, you want mouth to mouth?"BlackStar instantly shot up."Ahhh! No I'm Awake!" Soul panted." Lets NEVER do that again." "Agreed, that was disgusting! How can people like that stuff, let alone do it?" "FOOLS!" Shouted Excalibur, appearing out of souls backpack."You fags are both obviously ROCK HARD!" "Whaaa?" Sole and BlackStar both looked down. "Holy Shitness! He's RIGHT!" Exclaimed BlackStar."What sorcery is this?" "And Thus!" Excalibur raised his little arms, disappearing into a ball of light. "Holy Fuck!"

"So then Lord Death said that kid could never see Hiro again! He even sent him to the Brazilian outpost!""Are there Giraffes in Brazil?""Shut up Patty!"Maka, Liz and Patty were all on the phone, PMSing, with GIANT boxes of CHOCOLATE.A recipe for disaster? "I think kid deserved having his boyfriend sent away, its his fault for being gay!" Said Maka. "Gay people are just as normal as straight people."Said Liz, plopping a CHOCOLATE strawberry into her mouth."Giraffe! Giraffe! I love giraffes!" Sang Patty, who had a sugar rush."I love giraffe-""Patty!" Liz and Maka yelled over the phone."What?"She asked."Never mind." Maka got out ANOTHER box of CHOCOLATES."Hey, Liz, where's Kid at?" she asked. "Who knows? He's probably having phone sex with Hiro.""Phone sex! Phone sex! I love phone se-""PATTY!"

If you don't review… ill sick PMSing Patty on you all!

*Evil Laugh*


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you awsomeman13 for reviewing!

I want to warn you that this chapter gets a little more serious. Plz tell me if you like it or if I should change it

CHAPTER 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Take that! And that! Hahahahahahaha!" Yelled Free, running into random peoples homes. Freezing them into large ice cylinders. Eruca face palmed, following him into somebody's kitchen. Excalibur jumped out of the pie Free was eating. "FOOL-"Eruca punched his face. Tadpole Jackson ate him.

"Bloody Fucking Hell BlackStar!" Yelled soul. As soon as BlackStar saw his hard, he got right to work, dropping his pants on the spot and giving himself a blojob. (So flexible)Soul had gotten another EPIC NOSEBLEED and started to black out form blood loss. "uts-ong-oul-mnugf?"(What's wrong soul?)BlackStar said, still doing himself. "AHHG! You cant just drop down whenever you want and do yourself! How is that even possible? NOBODY can be that flexible! Are you even getting pleasure out of that?" Soul stopped to catch his breath. Rubbing himself a little trough his pants, hoping to get of that way. "eel-omie-mnph-as-o-do-ing" (Well, somebody had to do it.)Soul tried to bend far enough to do it. EPIC FAIL!"OW! Now my neck hurts."HE was getting frustrated, and he's erection wasn't going anywhere. BlackStar paused in his work. "Its really good soul, want me to blo you?""WHAAAA?"And without further ado, BlackStar pantsed soul, stroking him trough his boxers. "Ah! BlackStar!" Said ninja smiled."This stays between us, right Soul?""Ah, mph, eghh.""Good, I'm glad were on the same page. He removed soul's boxers, immediately deep thoughting him."AHHHH! BLACKSTAAAAAR!"

"Ng! Hiro, I'm so close." Kid panted into the phone, moving his hands faster."Oh, you sound so-oo-o-ooh hot." Hiro was getting close too. To Liz's horror last time she checked up on kid, him and Hiro were having phone sex. And from somewhere downstairs, you could here a distant "Phone sex! Phone Sex! I Love Phone sex!" As patty sang to the heavens. But of coarse kid was to busy to listen."Fuck you Hiro" Kid moaned into the phone."Good idea. But then its totally-Ahhh-my turn." "HIRO!" Kid came onto his bed, the young miser shortly after.*Insert Panting* "We REALLY need to visit sometime."Kid said gathering up the dirty sheets."Agreed, how do you plan on getting here? Since me coming there is out of the question."Hiro asked. The young reaper gave up on laundry for the night tossing the sheets in the center of the floor."I can take an extra long mission, fail, get totally lost, and somehow find my way to safety - the Brazilin outpost." "Aww! You'd fail a mission for me? Thats soo romantic, I think" Kid laughed, readjusting the phone."I'd do it for you, you and that nice round ass." "Fuck that's hot! Don't make me hard again!" Kid snickered, clasping on his bed."Hiro, as much as I hate to hang up, I'm TIRED!I REALLY need to sleep, right noww…""AWW! Ill miss you reaper boy!" His tired mind registered a Good night I love you.

Thanks Eruca! I had the best time ever!" exclaimed free, as the tadpole happily munched on Excalibur."Um, Free? Why don't we go to my place and hang out?"She asked him. Free scratched his head."Like a date?""Um, you can call it that, if you want to." "WHOO HOO! I GOT A DATE!"She linked her arm around his, smiling…

"Really? That so cool! You'll have to let me borrow them sometime. LIZ, Maka and an overenthusiastic patty were all on the phone. They were all PMSing. They all had giant boxes of CHOCLET. A recipe for disaster!(Run while you still can.) Liz and Maka were talking about the yaoi magazine."YAOI! YAOI! I Love YAOI!"Sang Patty (Who else?)"Shut Up Patty! Anyway, it should be here by now. Ill call soul and see if he has my mail."Maka picked up another phone, at the same time plopping a caramel treat into her mouth. Before she could dial her scythe, Tsubaki called."Hey Tsubaki! How's the battle going?""Not so good, Soul and BlackStar got trapped in a magic box, and I just unfroze."She said sadly."Wow! Tough day!" Said Maka, who really didn't care."Any way, I'm going home now, I need to take a REALLY hot bath.""Good idea! Said Maka, hanging up and heading towards the bathroom. "Maka? Maka? Oh, I guess she hung up.""Baths! Baths! I Love Baths"

Plz Reviw!


End file.
